Man confesses feelings for fiancée's sister and then abruptly ends the engagement, she comforts her devastated sister while debating whether keeping his reasons secret is the right choice: 'Was I wrong for not telling my suspicions earlier?'

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  • Woman comforting her friend who is going through a divorce
  • Aitah for not telling my sister the reason her ex broke it off with her?

    My sister and her ex- fiancé broke up after new year. He broke up with her. I have had my suspicions about him having some sort of crush on me for maybe a year now but he is very shy and honestly never bothered me so I ignored it.
  • My long term bf and I broke up last summer. Mom invited us on a mini vacation on Christmas to celebrate her 60th birthday.
  • My sister's fiancé was invited. Then my suspicions were confirmed when he told me. I don't know what flew into him.
  • I think he regretted it the moment he said it. I told him to never say anything like that again and went for my room.
  • Couple sitting in awkward silence on the couch in their living room
  • After new year he broke off the engagement. My sister is very distraught and confused. I have not been able to do anything but support her and cry with her but I feel disgusted with myself.
  • Whenever anything happened to her the first person she turned to is me. She was here for two weeks crying.
  • She will be here until she finds a new apartment. She is very confused. But I can't tell her.
  • It is selfish maybe but I can't have her resent me or risk it anyway. She keeps asking why.
  • He doesn't answer her. Am I the ah not telling her the truth? He texted me the night before he ended it.
  • So I am almost sure he did it because of me. Was I wrong for not telling my suspicions earlier?
  • But how could I? Who goes around accusing people of having a crush just because of gut feeling?
  • Man leaving the house with his orange suitcase
  • casualLogic NTA - NEVER tell her what he said! But do be truthful and say he's a complete loser and so far beneath her, you're glad she can find somebody more up to her standard, you just didn't want to say anything earlier because she seemed happy, but you've never liked him.
  • Realistic-Macaron9 NTA. I think telling her might make her resent you even though (as far as it seems) you didn't do anything to lead her ex on. That's his problem. And you never got confirmation. Telling her could make it seem like you were at fault
  • 1 RainbowUnicorn NTA. I think at this point, it would just make it worse for her to know. He is an AH and should be honest by telling her he ended it because he developed feelings for someone else... he does not need to say who. There wasn't a way to say your suspicion without being viewed as the bad guy. Just stay out of it and be there to support her through this.
  • NTA DarthKaep I'd take that shit to the grave if I was you. You weren't asking for it or to be put in this situation. But no way you don't get blamed if she finds out. Just think of it like this: she's lucky she dodged a bullet with a husband who at some point confesses his feelings about his SIL
  • Material-Dot7684 Unpopular take apparently but NTA for not telling her now and honestly, I'm not sure he broke it off because of you. It sounds like he wasn't sold on your sister and a symptom of that was he got a crush on you and acted on it. people who are really sold out and engaged should be able to keep it in their pants. The fact he couldn't suggests it is more likely he wasn't super sold out, and you were there, he had a crush on you, so why not, at worst he loses sister which isn't the w
  • jessie783 It sounds like you're just assuming you're the reason they broke up. For all you know he already had doubts and decided to leave for totally different reasons. Stay out of it and let them handle it between them.
  • Chaoticgood790 NTA don't tell her. Her ex is a loser
  • No_Truth7795 Damn you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. NTA and I would have done the same thing but there's a risk he will tell her eventually. He already proven himself to be a worthless pos
  • Le-Friday-oh-la-la The truth will give her closure. I would've told her immediately. She could've had the opportunity to be the one breaking up with him instead of her being broken up. I would let her know that you didn't know what to do or how to handle it without hurting her feelings. And that you are sorry. In retrospect, If I suspected that the boyfriend had the most minimal crush on me, I would've distanced myself. And if he persisted or she noticed and asked me, then I would tell my sister
  • School Bus Driver79 Take it to your grave. It's not your fault, but your sister won't see it that way. She'll not only lose her fiancé, but her sister as well. Hopefully you don't return his affections. Someday it may come out, and if it does it should come from him, but for now mum's the word. NTA

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